Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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