He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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