I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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