She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
