oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
