elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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