I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
