Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
