well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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