i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
