i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize