Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
