p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
