Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
