I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize