remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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