I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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