I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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