i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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