Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
