May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
