Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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