quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize