He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
