she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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