guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
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Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
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So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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