Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
