I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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