i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
