I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
