her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
