i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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