i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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