C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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