he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
