where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
