Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
