it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
