I puked a lego.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
