Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
