Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
