How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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