she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
