Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
