You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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