If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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