I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Randomize
