I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
