So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
