shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
