i just wanna soil my oats bro
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
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Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
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Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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