i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I want to make a zoo with you.
so let's talk penis.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
