oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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