I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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