the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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