i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
