Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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