He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
