our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
