No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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