I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
