woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
