I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
this hospital has no fireball
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
